{"id":47,"date":"2024-11-19T19:11:40","date_gmt":"2024-11-19T19:11:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.daddyogg.co.uk\/?p=47"},"modified":"2024-11-19T19:11:40","modified_gmt":"2024-11-19T19:11:40","slug":"im-talking-yes-indeed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.daddyogg.co.uk\/index.php\/2024\/11\/19\/im-talking-yes-indeed\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201dI\u2019m talking, yes indeed!\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
Screenshot<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

OK, I warned in my first post that there would be Adult Themes to be found here, so here we go. Yes, it\u2019s confronting. Yes, it\u2019s meant to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today, as you may or may not know, is International Men\u2019s Day, and this year the theme that\u2019s been decided upon is \u201cPositive Male R\u00f4le Models\u201d. Very nice too, in theory, but who\u2019s deciding what these r\u00f4le models should be, and who\u2019s deciding what makes them positive? What, if you like, is the hypermodel to which these r\u00f4le models must measure up? Who\u2019s vetting and signing off on them? I have a nasty suspicion that the word \u201cpositive\u201d here is a weaselly euphemism for \u201cacceptable\u201d, and frankly, I am not interested in being judged acceptable by someone whose obvious agenda is to tell us – on the one day of the year which is supposed to be ours<\/em> – what we should be<\/em>, rather than letting us tell them who we are. <\/em>So no. I\u2019m not going to bother with that. Listen, please; don\u2019t lecture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men, you see, are told what we should be – or more to the point, what we should not be <\/em>– all our lives. We\u2019ve had it since we were kids, and we don\u2019t need more of it now. We need to be listened to instead. It\u2019s all very well for people to wring their hands and say, \u201cOh, if only men would just open up <\/em>more about their feelings\u2026\u201d but we know from experience what we get when we open up about the \u201cwrong\u201d ones, and those are the ones we most need to express. We need to be able to speak freely, with no ifs or buts, and without comparing our situation to that of those who might \u201chave it worse\u201d according to the ugly ideological arithmetic that requires us to \u201ccheck our privilege\u201d – another weaselly euphemism there, which translates as \u201cyou don\u2019t matter, so shut up.\u201d Three is greater than two, but that doesn\u2019t make two equal to zero.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is, of course, those who need to speak about their burdens the most that are seen as \u201cproblematic\u201d when they attempt it, and as I say, the programming starts in childhood. Speaking as someone who was put through a decade and a half of violent and psychological abuse when I was growing up, I could write a book on it (and I still might.) – Don\u2019t cry! It\u2019s babyish, and proper boys don\u2019t do it. Don\u2019t fight back! It\u2019s wrong, and how dare you? Don\u2019t tell tales! No one will believe you, and no one likes liars. If only you were a good boy, like (insert name here) I wouldn\u2019t need to do this! – The message never changes, even when we\u2019ve reached adulthood; it simply continues. The same themes, the same shaming, the same \u201cbecause I say so\u201d arrogation of moral authority.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, to the self-appointed man-wranglers I say this. You have no right not to expect anger, but you don\u2019t need to approach us like a lion tamer, brandishing a chair and a whip, expecting us to have no control over ourselves without your instruction. An overwhelming majority of us are not like that, believe it or not. We\u2019ve done the work because we\u2019ve had to; we\u2019ve found our own answers, followed our own \u201cr\u00f4le models\u201d because we respected them, and become ourselves without your help or management. You just don\u2019t know about that because you\u2019ve never bothered to look, or to check in to see if we\u2019re OK. You should try it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And to the men reading this, a big furry bear hug and a happy International Men\u2019s Day. Now, for fuck\u2019s sake, let\u2019s make it mean something.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

OK, I warned in my first post that there would be Adult Themes to be found here, so here we go. Yes, it\u2019s confronting. Yes, it\u2019s meant to be. Today, as you may or may not know, is International Men\u2019s Day, and this year the theme that\u2019s been decided upon is \u201cPositive Male R\u00f4le Models\u201d. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-47","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.daddyogg.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.daddyogg.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.daddyogg.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.daddyogg.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.daddyogg.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.daddyogg.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49,"href":"https:\/\/www.daddyogg.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47\/revisions\/49"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.daddyogg.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.daddyogg.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.daddyogg.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}